


Stars

by I_have_a_Mycroft_of_my_very_own



Series: Heavenly Family [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: POSSIBLE CHARACTER DEATH?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-02
Updated: 2014-08-02
Packaged: 2018-02-11 10:44:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2065131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_have_a_Mycroft_of_my_very_own/pseuds/I_have_a_Mycroft_of_my_very_own
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“…like last night, they are not like tremors, they are worse than tremors, they are these terrors. And it’s like, it feels like as if somebody was gripping my throat and squeezing and… sometimes I see flames. And sometimes I see people that I love dying and… it’s always…”</p><p>Wake up.</p><p>“And I can’t… I can’t ever wake up.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stars

**Author's Note:**

> It would be appreciated if Gabriel would take his angsty shit somewhere else. But, well, it doesn't seem like that's going to happen any time soon. :(
> 
> I don't actually know what happens to Gabriel in the end here. I tried to write more, a good ending or a not so good ending, obviously neither panned out. But I leave it up to you to decide what happens to him. :) 
> 
> The summary and bolded text is taken from Sleep by My Chemical Romance.

**_“…like last night, they are not like tremors, they are worse than tremors, they are these terrors. And it’s like, it feels like as if somebody was gripping my throat and squeezing and… sometimes I see flames. And sometimes I see people that I love dying and… it’s always…”_ **

**_ Wake up. _ **

**_“And I can’t… I can’t ever wake up.”_ **

* * *

My name is Gabriel, my mother said she named me after the Archangel, I don’t know why, mother was never particularly religious, and neither am I. When I was younger I believed in God, but over the years I just started to feel nothing towards him but anger. Mother named my three older brothers after Archangels, too. Again, I don’t know why, mother would just shrug and get a faraway look in her eyes when we asked, so we stopped asking.

I hate my father for many reasons, one of them being that he left when I was five. He gave me a hug, a smile, and a pat on the head and he told me to be good for mother until he came back. I’m 23 now and he has never come back. Another reason is that my brothers always fight because of him. Michael, my eldest brother, he and Lucifer, the second eldest, they always tear into one another about it, blaming each other for dad leaving. Raphael and I just try to keep out of the cross fire, sometimes it works, and… sometimes it doesn’t. The constant fighting drove mother to drink, and the drinking drove mother… to an early grave. Michael and Lucifer blame each other for this, too.

I have terrible dreams when I sleep, sometimes I wake up screaming, and sometimes I wake up struggling to breathe, sometimes I am falling and I wake just before I hit the ground. Sometimes I see the people I love dying around me, sometimes I kill them, and sometimes they kill me, and I wake in a cold sweat. Sometimes I hear voices calling me in the moments after waking and sometimes I hear a beating, like that of a heart, but a heart that is not my own. They can’t be real.

Sometimes I think none of this is real. Sometimes I think I’m in a coma and have made all this up in my head. Sometimes that seems like the most reasonable answer for why I sometimes see the things I see, or hear the things I hear.

In my dreams mother doesn’t exist, in my dreams she never existed. In my dreams I get flashes of a beautiful place, it glows with an unearthly light, and I don’t know what to call it, but it makes my heart swell, it makes me think I am home, I think… I think it might be Heaven.

* * *

My name is Gabriel, I think I might have been an archangel once. My brothers are Michael, Lucifer, and Raphael. My father abandoned us when I was five. Mother started drinking, and my brothers went for each other’s throats. I don’t think any of this is real. I think I’m in a coma, and this is all something my mind has made up to entertain me.

Sometimes, when I’m alone, I hear voices, they don’t make sense. They tell me to wake up, but if I am awake, why do I need to wake up? I think I’m in a coma. It makes sense. When I sleep I have terrible dreams, sometimes I wake up and it feels like someone is squeezing my throat and I can’t breathe. Sometimes I wake up, and it’s like I forget how to breathe for a while. Sometimes I see fire and blinding light, and sometimes I see the people I love dying, and I never… I can never save them.

I think I’m in a coma, and I can never… I can never wake up.

* * *

My name is Gabriel. I used to be an Archangel. My brothers are Michael, Lucifer, and Raphael. My Father abandoned us when I was still young. My mother never existed, but I loved her all the same. My brothers fight no matter where we are, or why we’re all together. Once upon a time we all lived in Heaven. Once upon a time I loved my father, once upon a time I loved my brothers.

I hear voices talking to me, they never make sense. Some of them are prayers for things I cannot grant. Some of them are pleas for me to wake up. Some of them are orders. Some of them are just stories. They never make sense. They never ever make sense.

I am in a coma. I can never wake up.

* * *

My name is Gabriel. I used to be an archangel. I used to be alive. I used to have brothers, and I used to have a Father. I never had a mother but I loved her all the same.

I’m not in a coma. I know what is happening to me.

Father never made a place for us to go. We don’t have souls, but we are too pure for purgatory. When we die we drift through the cosmos, sentient balls of light. We are the stars in the night sky. I can’t say I’m terribly surprised. The humans have been calling those of us who fall ‘shooting stars’ for as long as they have existed, and for as long as we have been falling.

* * *

My name is Gabriel. I am a star. It scares me what will happen to me in the future. Stars die. What will I become then? I don’t think I’m meant to know any of this. But I used to be a Trickster God. I used to throw people into things that never existed just for fun. Sooner or later I was bound to figure things out.

* * *

I think… I think my name is Gabriel. I… I think I’m a star. I think I’m going out…

* * *

_Wake up._

_Wake up._

_Wake…_

_Up…_

_Gabriel…_


End file.
